Life

 Last night, my husband Daniel and me were talking. We got on the subject of life and what-not. He shocked me. He told me how close he gets to customers at the place he works and talks A LOT about me and how I am so wonderful. He told me, he had told my life story and a lot of the people would reply, "wow, I don't know how she did it all, I would have been dead because I would have probably killed myself." Well, I am not going to lie, I am extremely blessed to be alive. I wanted to die so bad, and suicide thoughts haunted me since the age of ten years old. Growing up, I was physically and mentally abused, more mentally than physically. I am only twenty years old and still shocked I have made it so far. I give all of the glory to Jesus. He has truly saved me from myself. All I ask for is that my past may help others find peace because I never thought I would be where I am today. Yea, ok granted, I struggle even today, but who doesn't? 
  Christians have always asked me,"Why did you want to kill yourself? You would go straight to hell." Ok, a reply, "Um, I wasn't saved, no where close, I had a mom who was Catholic and dad was Baptist, therefore big argument, My dad would cuss us out and call us terrible names because we couldn't understand what we were suppose to believe. My twin brother Thomas, I am so afraid for. I am two minutes older than him, but boy if somebody messes with him I am not so happy because he is my other half. I feel like he is going to follow in my fathers footsteps. I have prayed so much for Thomas lately, a lot of those prayers have been answered. He got his GED, he has held a job, he pays rent, he is taking care of himself, he doesn't do drugs, and he still prays I am sure. Honestly, I never thought he cared about school and stuff. 
   November 25, 2004 Thanksgiving Day, David Lee Neal (my first cousin who my parents pretty much took in so he was like a brother) died. I couldn't understand why him and not me, I

TO BE CONTINUED!!!