lost

    I never knew who my real dad was because he left me when i was a baby. I didnt fully understand why he left and cried every night he was gone. I now know why he is gone but there is still a peice of me missing. Even though i have everything i could ever ask for i just have this hole in my heart. Growing up and even now i feel lost and hurt at times. When i see all my friends and their dads i wish i had mine too, but then i realize i do have my dad that he has been around all my life and thats how god intended it to be. God had better plans for me he didnt want me to hurt and suffer he just wanted me to be happy. He had my real dad go away because he didnt want to see me get hurt by him the rest of my life and thats probably how it would have turned out. I saw all those other kids with their dads on fathers day and would ask wheres mine and my mom would tell me (when i was littler) that he was here. but i wasnt looking for my step-dad i was looking for the dad i had known before. I cried and felt lost because the one person i looked up to and loved had left me and my family because he did something wrong. God has shown me that im not the only one and that he is the only way. I think of god as my true dad because without him i would not be here today. His intentions was not to hurt me but to show me how one persons mistakes can effect more then just one person. I now understand that and hope that many of you that are going through the same thing realize god has something better for you. That that hole on your heart will be filled with love in a matter of time, just look around because god works in mysterious ways and the answer may be right in front of you, you just dont know it.

God bless you all,

               Ashley